The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners.

Bozone (n): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

For those who missed last year's list of alternative definitions, here it is:

Coffee (n): a person who is coughed upon.

Flabbergasted (adj): appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj): impotent.

Negligent (adj): describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n): an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n): the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n): a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude (n): the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Oyster (n): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Pokemon (n): a Jamaican proctologist.

Frisbeetarianism (n): the belief that when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent (n): the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

NB Thanks to Paul Gilberd for pointing us in the direction of these.